Vita's Tip in 10: A Critical Skill for a Successful CEO

Hello, hello, friend! Welcome to a new episode of Vita’s Tip In Ten. If you were to guess:  what do YOU think the most critical communication skill for a successful CEO is?  I’ll give you a second and, in the meantime, I’ll tell you a story.  

The other day my husband and I were having a conversation about some things that we needed to take care of at our rental properties. One of them had to do with a dishwasher that was broken, and another one had to do with a light that needed to be replaced. Usually, I am the one who takes on the brunt of most of these housekeeping and maintenance type of tasks. But because I had so much going on recently, my hubby offered to help. Yay!! 

I filled him in on all the regular tasks and appointments that needed to be scheduled.  But one of them had to do with calling the association (where our rental condo is) and reporting that the neighbor of one of our tenants has been hoarding a lot of trash outside of his door, so the association can do whatever they need to do to rectify it.  This wasn’t exactly the garden variety:  Let me be a good guy and fix your washing machine kind of task. 

So as soon as I said that, I could see and feel the resistance in his body and in his face.  I love him dearly, he is the best person in the world with the kindest heart. And having difficult conversations is not something that is his forte.    

So that's a task that I immediately offered to field myself, because it just so happens that having that kind of conversation really isn't a big deal for me like it is for him.  

As an entrepreneur, I’ve had to have many uncomfortable conversations over the years:  with clients, with vendors, with my team.  

Now there are some conversations that are legit, very difficult. You are delivering a problem, or you are trying to solve a problem, or you are apologizing and creating a plan of action for a certain truly negative situation. That is a topic for another podcast.  

For right now I want to tackle the simpler case of delivering feedback.  Feedback that is not necessarily negative - it is our own perception that makes it negative. And the faster we, as CEOs, leaders of our businesses, realize or put a different spin in our own mindset on that feedback, the more successful we become.  

There are situations where there needs to be feedback given to a team member that perhaps can be construed as not the most positive.  

Let me give you an example of something that recently happened in my own company. 

The drapery panels went up at an install and the installer reported back that the leading edge was not exactly even with the floor, it was riding up, or another word for it is smiling. My workrooms here know that it is a common issue and needs to be addressed during the fabrication process.  

Wouldn’t you, as the workroom, want to know that this happened?  Would you want your designer or installer to tell you that was the case? 

For me, who oversees the whole window treatment operation, where everything is in-house, I certainly want my sewing staff to know about something like this!  I want my sewers to know so that next time they are more careful with all of the variables that may contribute to smiling panels.  Not the least of which is quality control on a hoist, especially if it is challenging or unstable fabric.   

Every Monday afternoon, we have a team meeting and in the one after the incident I said to the team, “This issue needs to be communicated to our sewing staff”.  Now they are the BEST team in the world!!!  Hands down!  They do have the thing though for wanting to be nice.  For wanting to be liked.  For not wanting to rock the boat.  So I could feel and see the resistance.  Over the years, I have learned to really pick up on signs of that resistance.  Sometimes their outside voice would say ‘yes, I will’, but I know that on the inside there is struggle and great deal of discomfort. 

So I have learned to coach them through a conversation like that.  I would remind them to first state the simple fact:  We just installed the Drape and it was smiling.  BTW, pictures here are very helpful.  Next to get an agreement that it is not okay - Our quality needs to be a lot better than that. Yes, ok, we're on the same page about that.  And then go on to say, Everybody makes mistakes. I do, you do, and that's okay. And finally ask ‘what can we do in the future to avoid this mistake’.  How can we work together to rectify this problem from happening again.   

I would remind my team that “how would any of us know that we had made a mistake, if we are not there firsthand to see it and then nobody tells us about it?”  Instead of looking at it in the negative light:   that you're delivering bad news - what if we were to look at it in the positive that we are helping each other to prevent mistakes?  

If we reframe our own mindset from “I'm delivering bad news, and they won't think that I'm a nice person”, to instead thinking “I'm delivering the news to helps all of us get better at what we do, have successful installation on the first try, and everyone goes home happy.” 

As our fearless leader LuAnn would say:  easy-peasy! 

So my point to you my friend is this.  If you are someone who suffers from wanting other people to think that you are the nicest person, and you don't like delivering bad feedback or perceived negative feedback... The faster you are able to reframe your own mindset, the more successful you will be as the CEO. 

I have learned that not delivering that kind of feedback or shying away from any kind of difficult conversation only buries the issue in the sand or it gets swept under the rug. It doesn't resolve it. It doesn't make it better. It doesn't move the business forward. It does not have any kind of positive residual value. The mistake persists and will certainly repeat itself in the future.  

The only “positive” is the perceived notion that someone may still think that you are a nice person. This “positive” is very temporary b/c the problem at hand still exists.  And if the problem still exists, then someone is not happy, someone is compensating for the mistake, someone is doing double work, and your long-term reputation is at stake – all because you were afraid to not sound ‘nice’. 

The faster you become comfortable with what you may perceive right now as uncomfortable conversations, the more productive and efficient your business will be and the more respect you will command from your team, from your colleagues, from your customers, and from your own self.  

Just like anything else, this comes with practice, and gets easier the more we flex that muscle.  

If you are someone who needs help with flexing the muscle; if you’re looking for exact communication templates; if you are looking for ALL the systems to run your business like a well-oiled machine – I invite you to check out my VIP experience.  It is a 2-day in-person intensive, where you’re treated like royalty and where you get the backstage pass to ALL the back-end operations of my business.  

And in the meantime, I’ll be looking forward to bringing you a new episode of Vita’s Tip in Ten next Thursday. See you next time!